Tuesday, June 29, 2010

the reality of pregnancy: where I use a bunch of italics.

So, you know, often times, a pregnancy results in a human being. A living, breathing, crying, pooping human being.

And, if I'm honest with you (which I always am!), I haven't accepted this reality. I wish I were joking, but I'm not. Here I am -- 24.5 weeks pregnant -- and it hasn't hit me that I'm going to have a daughter. A little girl with a squeaky mouse cry that relies on me for survival. In my mind, I think:

Hey! Yeah, I'm pregnant! With a little girl! I love her so much :)

But really, I think my subconsciousness is saying:

Hey! Yeah, I'm pregnant, and I will be forever! This baby will never be born. I'll just continue loving this pregnancy forever.

According to BabyCenter, this is totally normal, so I don't feel like a total freak. Note the word total in that sentence. I'm just so used to loving on my nephews, and I haven't realized that I'm going to have my very own baby. Her room is done, her name has been decided, we've been preparing for her birth since before her conception, I've read every book possible on breastfeeding and health, but still. It doesn't seem real to me!

I mean, come on!! How does a BABY come from ME?! Okay okay, I know how it works, but really?! All of my friends keep having babies, and with each new birth comes a smidge more reality for me. And don't get me wrong - I have no doubt that I can handle mothering. I just, ahem, haven't come to terms with the fact that she really, really is coming.

Yep. She's coming, alright! Just a little over 100 days to go.

I have a feeling that she's going to rock my world :)


3 comments:

  1. You're so cute. You're going to be a great mommy!

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  2. You know what? I even spent my whole labor in denial. I was really going to have a BABY? No way! Shannon, the moment you hold that little girl in your arms its all going to fall into place. There are still days when Gavin calls me "mama" and I am in awe that I am the ONLY person he calls that because he is *my* son (wow!) but he feels so much a part of me, it just feels right. I know you will feel the same thing for your little girl. Enjoy your pregnancy. Live in the moment. Once she is here your entire world is going to be so amazingly and wonderfully different.

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  3. You are right...she will rock your world and be the best thing EVER! I love the blog redesign.

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