Can't wait.

Tonight I'm spending the night with Clayton. Now, what this really means is that I hang out with the family until 8pm, then Ad and I go sleep in his room while he sleeps downstairs. But it's a lot of fun, and we love it.

Man, I miss my partner so much. I'm calling him that because that's exactly what he was/is. Besides being my best friend, soul mate, and the greatest thing to ever happen to me (love you, dear ;)), Mark is my partner. He was my equal in raising Ad.

Life was so (SOO!!!!) easy when Mark was here. Parenting was a cinch, and he was always eager to help. At this point, I've spent equal time as a singly present parent as when he was here -- two months. I miss him so, so much. Adalyn isn't "hard" by any means. I just miss having a partner to do everything with.

Example:
Bath? It was known, without speaking, that he would bathe her while I got her towel, diaper, lotion, and pajamas ready with her Miracle Blanket. At the end of her bath, it was all laid out and ready. Easy.

Before we left the house, one of us would assemble the diaper bag (diaper & wipe check!) while the other one got her coat and put her in the carseat. Easy!!!

At a restaurant, if she was getting fussy and needed a pacifier, the other would get it without being told. Easy.

Going into church, one of us would pack her belongings, and one of us would pack her. Easy.


...Now? It's all on me. Parenting, the way God designed it, is *so* much easier with a partner to help. The other week, Adalyn woke up from a nap at Kroger. She was fine until we got to the checkout. By the time I paid, she was screaming at the top of her lungs; her face was beat red --classic Adalyn. I was getting anxious, and the gobs of people that stopped to say, "Boy, she's mad!!" made me more flustered than ever.

Mark and I always grocery-shopped together. It's just what we do.

Dang. I miss him.

So now we're two months down and four more to go. And I can safely say it's crawling by for me. For Mark, it's passing quickly; he's very very busy all day. At this point, I literally can't imagine what parenting will be like when I have my partner back. The word "easy" comes to mind first.

No one knows her (or will know her) the way her daddy does.

I can't wait to see them together for the first time.
I cant wait to see him give her a kiss and hug her.
I can't wait to see her asleep in his arms.
I can't wait to see him wear her in the Ergo.
I can't wait to do all the thing we've planned as a family.
I can't wait for Sunday mornings together.
I can't wait to read Bible stories to her together each night.
I can't wait to hear her say "da da" and to watch him melt.
I can't wait to see him cry when he sees her for the first time.
I can't wait.


I miss him so, so much. A part of my heart is truly missing right now.


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