Monday, March 22, 2010

my child will never...

I'm sure that we've all been there at one point in our lives: We see a child doing something and think "I'll never let my child do that!"

My list could go on forever (hehe).. but here are a few of my biggies:

  • My child will never wear a leash. Absurd, right? It's one of my biggest pet peeves EVER. I *hate* child leashes. Is it so hard to just hold your child's hand?! Your child should be expected to stand next to you without a fuss. If your child continually runs away, strap them in a stroller! And if your child is too big for a stroller, then they need some serious discipline if they can't obey you and stand next to you. So while we were at the zoo, we saw a mom with 2 kids on leashes. She was *tangled* in leashes, and her son was on the pavement - and she was dragging him!! Whatever happened to just holding your child's hand?! Ahh!! I can't even believe that these things are manufactured and sold!
perfect example of stupid backpack leash

  • My child will never be "allowed" to draw during church. I can't stand watching children draw pictures through the entire church service. We recently sat by a child who never looked up from his drawing pad that he brought to church. He was about 10 years old! He should have been listening and participating in church. If your child just cannot listen, maybe they would be better off in a Sunday school class with The Word geared toward their age group. I'm a big fan of Sunday school anyway - since they teach children about the Bible on their age level, and incorporate songs and activities that are age-appropriate. But seriously?? I'll never allow my kid to bring a drawing book to church and let church become "art time."

  • My child will never be glued to a video game system. Heck, I don't even want my child knowing what video games even are. We do have a Wii, but we don't use it often, and I'd like to keep it that way. I definitely don't want a "vidiot" (my brother-in-law's favorite term for an idiot addicted to video games) for a child. Especially because kids should play outdoors! I don't want a couch potato kid obsessed with beating a game. Ew.

  • My child will never suck on a passy after the age of two. Funny story: When C was little, he loved his passy. He sucked on it 24/7 and had to have it to go to sleep. Well, the time came when he needed to give it up. One day, Mark was over at our house (lonnnng before our engagement) and he got C to give him his passy for a minute. I said, "LOOK, Clayton!!!" and he turned around. And he said, "What?!?!" and I said, "OHHH my gosh! The Easter Bunny hopped in here and TOOK YOUR PASSY while you were turned around!! He left with it!!!" (Actually, Mark put it on the top shelf of the baker's rack...) And wouldn't you know -- Clayton believed us. He did, and he didn't ask for his passy at all! He was fine with believing that the Easter Bunny took it. Weeks later, he found a spare passy upstairs underneath a chair, and stuck it in his mouth, but by then he was pretty over it. Weird story, right? Uh, all I can say is: Whatever works.. :]

  • My child will never be encouraged to use made-up words or grunts to get what they want. Example: "Uhhhhhhgggh *points at drink" What's that, Sam? You want your drink? Here you go! ... and the child never learns to say "drink." Well, eventually they learn it - but why would a kid talk if they don't have to? Part of me is convinced that this is where some of the language delays come from. Parents don't ask their children to talk. And, nope, I'm not talking about a 6-month old child here. Anyway, case in point: I will never encourage my child to use made-up words or whine to get what they want. No way, Jose!

  • My child will never eat a Happy Meal in the middle of a Mexican/Japanese/foreign restaurant. Ohhh my gosh - huuuge pet peeve here! I hate when parents let children bring in kids meals because they "can't" get their children to eat ethnic foods. (Exception - bringing special food for your child with allergies). Seriously, every child needs to be able to eat a taco or chicken and rice and survive! My sister's technique is my favorite: When your child is a toddler, or before they are able to read, tell them that the restaurant does not serve chicken fingers, hamburgers, fries, etc. So they have to pick something from the menu. No exceptions. So either they eat or they starve. By the time they are able to read the menu, they're used to eating ethnic food, and you don't have a problem. I just think it's pathetic that parents feel like they have to cater to their child because their kid "won't eat" a taco (or whatever the food may be).

  • My child will never sleep in the bed with Mark and me. Except if our child is sick. I'm a fan of co-sleepers/bassinets which go beside the bed and are for infant use only. Then, before the child is one year old, you move them to their crib. Where they belong. Out of the parents' bedroom. Your child should never come between your spouse. And, frankly, our bed is only full-sized, so a kid wouldn't even fit! I know plenty of couples who lose all intimacy because they can't get their child out of their bed. I just think it's best if a child learns to sleep on their own, so they aren't crippled later in life and really struggle with sleeping alone. I've seen Supernanny work with tonnnns of folks who can't get their child out of their bed. So I never want to start that nasty process!

Well, there we go. I'm sure there are a zillion more things, but those are what currently comes to mind! So what will you never let your child do? :] I'm also interested to see if I give in to any of these. But I seriously doubt that I'll raise a leash-wearing, church-doodling, video-gaming, passy-obsessing, grunting, co-sleeping kiddo who hates ethnic food. I mean, if so, then I'm in trouble!!


  1. The only thing I have to say is DITTO to ALL of those. Especially the part about eating ethnic foods.

    Oh, and I will never ask my kids want they want to eat when they are way too young to decide. They will eat what I make them. I'm not a picky eater because my mom didn't give me a choice as to what I was eating! And, I will do the same with my kids. My husband's mom's rule was he had to eat everything once and if it made him throw up, he didn't have to eat it again. I like that one, too!

  2. I agree with your ideas, but, wow, your language was sort of harsh! :/ I understand where you're coming from though.

    One thing I'll never let my children do is urinate on a public toilet seat and NOT clean it up. Gross.

  3. Love this & totally agree! Especially with the child sleeping in the bed with you. I am shocked at how many people actually do that. Also with kids drawing in church, that always seems to distract me & I find myself staring at their paper & loosing focus on the service, I hate that.

    Something I have always said that I would never do is threaten my kid(s) with discipline without following through. I see it way too often parent's counting to 3 (which I hate anyway) then not doing anything about the childs behavior. The kids catch on quickly & learn that there will be no consequence so they keep misbehaving.


  4. HA, Lisa, I totally agree with you! I kept looking at the kid's paper to see what he was drawing. Too funny! And everyone I know that lets their kid sleep with them toooottally regrets it, because then it becomes a big ordeal to get them out of the bed, and it would've been easier when they were babies. Glad I know that now!

  5. One thing I would add to your list is not to ever spank just like Super Nanny preaches. A spank or simple slap on the hand is agressive behavior on your part as a parent. It is wrong in every situation. Would you like your employer to slap you if you did something wrong? It is physical abuse no matter how you spell it. I would never let my childrn play with guns either. Sorry if you disagree. It is your blog but you asked what I would never let my child do. I would never let him be hurt by a parent/anyone and a slap on the hand/bottom is meant to hurt.

  6. I agree with these..

    The leash thing ugggh no can't do it.. That poor kid thats stuck on a leash.

    I was a picky eater as a kid but there was NO WAY my parents would get me a happy meal or something to bring into a restaurant.. It was either eat something from there or starve lol.. I've never seen someone do it though but seriously I can't believe a parent would cave like that.

    I'm so against kids sleeping in the parents bed too for no reason. That ruins the parents time together if the child has to always sleep in their bed for any reason they think is legit.

    Shannon you're going to be such a good mom seriously I can't wait to hear all the stories that your kids are going to do lol!

  7. OMG I totally agree...I do have to say that I do let Maddox sleep with us, BUT it hasnt always been that way! lol he has his own bed and obviously since we have another baby he HAD to sleep in his own bed. We have however been going through this little phase where he sneaks in at night! :) I dont know why because he has always slept in his own bed!!

    As for the leash...All I have to say is that my kid is NOT A DOG!!!:)

  8. Great list! I especially agree with the "no sleeping in mom and dad's bed" rule. We plan to be pretty strict about that rule when we become parents, too. Having a good marriage is the foundation to raising a healthy, happy family!

  9. Those are all great and I agree with them all...the only other one I would add is sticking to a regular bedtime routine when the child is old enough for one...I see too many people allow their children to stay up till 10 or even later just because they don't attend school and it is so bad for them schedule wise they still need sleep just like the rest of us and even though they nap it doesn't add up to enough sleep...believe it or not I have a jr. in high school that is in bed by 9 every night...on weekdays of course I feel they need a goodnights sleep and a good breakfast to be alert and pay attention and get good far we are doing very well with that in our home...YEAH!!! I wish you the best you will be a great mom

  10. I don't mean to sound mean, but I don't think it's ever a good idea to tell your child something that isn't true. For example, if your kid is too big for a pacifier, just say, "_______ (kids name), you are 2 years old now, and it's time to be a big boy now. Big boys don't need a pacifier anymore." take it away. The end. If they cry, sorry about it. You're the parents and you know what is best for your child. Your kid won't cry forever. They'll get over it. If they ask for it again the next day, be strong. "No pacifier. You are a big boy." as for the restaurant thing, I don't understand why you'd have to say that an item isn't on the menu if it is because you should just set the rules in stone, and not try to convince them they can't eat the food because it isn't there when it is. Again, you're the parent. Don't give choices. You say, "No, you can't have a happy meal, we are going to eat Mexican food. This is what we are having for dinner. You get to eat what the rest of us are eating." the end. You are the parent. Be straight forward with your kids. They don't like it? They'll get over it. They cry? They'll bounce back.

  11. Another of the no spanking parents I saw above. Society in the 1940's and 50's had several things that were regular. Going to church, eating around a dinner table as a family, and spanking the kids if they misbehaved were all on that list. Sometime in the last 50 ish years we have decided spanking doesnt work, its abusive...blah blah blah. That timeout for your 6 year old taught will sit me in a chair...big whoop. That grounding to his room for your 12 year old? God forbid he has to sit in his room and play video games all day and use his cell phone/computer. That kind of thinking is why we are in such trouble as a country. Having a good meal around the kitchen table as a family instead of mcdonalds on the couch goes a long way, you can have a "GASP" conversation with your kids and maybe...i dont know...get to know them? And while were at it, the country was founded on good Christian values and ran fine with them until the "GASP" hippies of the 60's decided no more church and no more spanking, let our child be a free spirit and find their own path! I know I am ranting but it eats me up when I read these people talk. I am not saying beat your kids, but there is nothing wrong with a spanking. My 4 kids are all succesful, and my 9 grandkids are being raised the same and are all wonderful kids. Just at somepoint in our society we broke away from what worked fine and fixed it with a system that is less effective, but evidently more polically correct. When it comes to raising children, a book a stranger wrote or a random doctors advice is not the end all, be all. Those were not around when my kids were young and many others as well. Shannon honey, you seem like a wonderful young lady with a good head on your shoulders. I wish you and your family the best, dont be mad at my opinion, remember, its just that :)

    Barbara Ruth Allen
    Blog ( Old Time Games)

  12. I was int he BX the other day and saw a book on how to take a pacifier from the kid! My sister-in-law did the following a few weeks ago. She told my niece who is almost 2 that she is a big girl and big girls do not need pacifier and that she gets to select her new glass if she gives up on pacifier. This kids loves using real glasses so she was really happy to get a (real) new glass.
    I agree with everything you wrote, specially on drawing in church and eating in the restaurants.

  13. These are soo funny, I loved reading this. There is a whole philosophy behind attachment parenting. I believe Dr. Sear from the The Dr.'s show practices it. It was so funny, but interesting listening to him tell of how he and his wife practice co-sleeping and the point of putting the mattress fairly low (I think he said floor - but don't quote me =). Crystal

  14. Ok - these are hilarious - and the woman with the leash is absolutely hilarious!!!!!
    I do- however - believe in the occasional spanking - it totally works! it's not like he's being beaten!
    and big C does draw in "big church" but he's only 5 - oh well. he says "big church is boring" - sorry Jason.

    Bigger Sis