my child will never...

I'm sure that we've all been there at one point in our lives: We see a child doing something and think "I'll never let my child do that!"

My list could go on forever (hehe).. but here are a few of my biggies:

• My child will never wear a leash. Absurd, right? It's one of my biggest pet peeves EVER. I *hate* child leashes. Is it so hard to just hold your child's hand?! Your child should be expected to stand next to you without a fuss. If your child continually runs away, strap them in a stroller! And if your child is too big for a stroller, then they need some serious discipline if they can't obey you and stand next to you. So while we were at the zoo, we saw a mom with 2 kids on leashes. She was *tangled* in leashes, and her son was on the pavement - and she was dragging him!! Whatever happened to just holding your child's hand?! Ahh!! I can't even believe that these things are manufactured and sold!

perfect example of stupid backpack leash

• My child will never be "allowed" to draw during church. I can't stand watching children draw pictures through the entire church service. We recently sat by a child who never looked up from his drawing pad that he brought to church. He was about 10 years old! He should have been listening and participating in church. If your child just cannot listen, maybe they would be better off in a Sunday school class with The Word geared toward their age group. I'm a big fan of Sunday school anyway - since they teach children about the Bible on their age level, and incorporate songs and activities that are age-appropriate. But seriously?? I'll never allow my kid to bring a drawing book to church and let church become "art time."

• My child will never be glued to a video game system. Heck, I don't even want my child knowing what video games even are. We do have a Wii, but we don't use it often, and I'd like to keep it that way. I definitely don't want a "vidiot" (my brother-in-law's favorite term for an idiot addicted to video games) for a child. Especially because kids should play outdoors! I don't want a couch potato kid obsessed with beating a game. Ew.
  

• My child will never suck on a passy after the age of two. Funny story: When C was little, he loved his passy. He sucked on it 24/7 and had to have it to go to sleep. Well, the time came when he needed to give it up. One day, Mark was over at our house (lonnnng before our engagement) and he got C to give him his passy for a minute. I said, "LOOK, Clayton!!!" and he turned around. And he said, "What?!?!" and I said, "OHHH my gosh! The Easter Bunny hopped in here and TOOK YOUR PASSY while you were turned around!! He left with it!!!" (Actually, Mark put it on the top shelf of the baker's rack...) And wouldn't you know -- Clayton believed us. He did, and he didn't ask for his passy at all! He was fine with believing that the Easter Bunny took it. Weeks later, he found a spare passy upstairs underneath a chair, and stuck it in his mouth, but by then he was pretty over it. Weird story, right? Uh, all I can say is: Whatever works.. :]
  

• My child will never be encouraged to use made-up words or grunts to get what they want. Example: "Uhhhhhhgggh *points at drink" What's that, Sam? You want your drink? Here you go! ... and the child never learns to say "drink." Well, eventually they learn it - but why would a kid talk if they don't have to? Part of me is convinced that this is where some of the language delays come from. Parents don't ask their children to talk. And, nope, I'm not talking about a 6-month old child here. Anyway, case in point: I will never encourage my child to use made-up words or whine to get what they want. No way, Jose!

• My child will never eat a Happy Meal in the middle of a Mexican/Japanese/foreign restaurant. Ohhh my gosh - huuuge pet peeve here! I hate when parents let children bring in kids meals because they "can't" get their children to eat ethnic foods. (Exception - bringing special food for your child with allergies). Seriously, every child needs to be able to eat a taco or chicken and rice and survive! My sister's technique is my favorite: When your child is a toddler, or before they are able to read, tell them that the restaurant does not serve chicken fingers, hamburgers, fries, etc. So they have to pick something from the menu. No exceptions. So either they eat or they starve. By the time they are able to read the menu, they're used to eating ethnic food, and you don't have a problem. I just think it's pathetic that parents feel like they have to cater to their child because their kid "won't eat" a taco (or whatever the food may be).
  

• My child will never sleep in the bed with Mark and me. Except if our child is sick. I'm a fan of co-sleepers/bassinets which go beside the bed and are for infant use only. Then, before the child is one year old, you move them to their crib. Where they belong. Out of the parents' bedroom. Your child should never come between your spouse. And, frankly, our bed is only full-sized, so a kid wouldn't even fit! I know plenty of couples who lose all intimacy because they can't get their child out of their bed. I just think it's best if a child learns to sleep on their own, so they aren't crippled later in life and really struggle with sleeping alone. I've seen Supernanny work with tonnnns of folks who can't get their child out of their bed. So I never want to start that nasty process!
  

Well, there we go. I'm sure there are a zillion more things, but those are what currently comes to mind! So what will you never let your child do? :] I'm also interested to see if I give in to any of these. But I seriously doubt that I'll raise a leash-wearing, church-doodling, video-gaming, passy-obsessing, grunting, co-sleeping kiddo who hates ethnic food. I mean, if so, then I'm in trouble!!