Monday, May 4, 2009


the number one thing i desire is to be the best wife that i can be for my husband.

i struggle a lot. i struggle to be strong (Air Force strong!) for my husband. and for our marriage. sometimes i wonder how i will make it another day. sometimes i feel lonely and out of place. i selfishly think "hey.. I didn't sign up for this!" when, in fact, I did..

sometimes i think i wasn't cut out for this job. i'm not strong enough. i can't do this alone!


but it isn't about me. i can't control everything. God controls our future. and his deployments. and where we will be moving. He will carry us through this separation. i need to stop making excuses and get up and face tomorrow. this period in our life should be a learning experience for the both of us.

i need to stop overreacting and stop feeling sorry for myself. i need to learn to be submissive to my husband. i need to be quiet and reserved. i need to follow his lead and do my job to support him. and, most of all, i need to respect him.

Our roles as wives*:
-She highly esteems her husband

-She dearly loves him.
~This respect is composed of love, which is also the wife's duty (Tit. 2:4). Sarah, Rebekah, and Rachel left parents, friends, and their country entirely out of love for their husbands.

-She diligently pleases him
~"I will do my utmost to please him, though I do not fear his hand, but his frown.
I would rather displease the whole world than my husband."

How the heck am I supposed to do that, you ask?! Oh, I'm so glad you asked...

On her tongue is the law of kindness -Proverbs 31:26

1) She speaks respectfully of him in his absence. No wife is too great or good to imitate Sarah's godly example of giving her husband a title of respect like "lord" (1 Pet. 3:6). A wicked woman refers to her husband as "the man" (literal Hebrew in Prov. 7:19).

2) She speaks respectfully to him in his presence.
~strive for a gentle and quiet spirit

3) She obeys his directions and restraints.

4) She asks his counsel and hears his reproofs.

5) She maintains a respectful and cheerful attitude at all times. (well, it's a nice thought!)

obviously, I am no where close to this Biblical model of a wife. seriously. I'm far, FAR from it. but I can only hope and strive with all my little heart to be the kind of wife that Mark wants me to be, the kind of wife God wants me to be, and the kind of wife I want myself to be. I can just hear my feminist friends shouting at their computer as I type. But, seriously, this is what I desire for our marriage.

even through the darkest, most lonely days when I feel like I can't go on, I hope that I can persevere and make my husband proud. seriously, don't feel sorry for me. my hubby has top job security (and in an economic slouch, that's important!). we're moving to the beach later this year. we're saving up tons of money. and we are learning to truly appreciate one another AND work on our communication skills! (chatting online often leads to LOTS of miscommunication!).

i just want you to know that i desire, more than anything, to be a true Proverbs 31 woman. with or without the military. God has called me to be so much more than a whiney, depressed, psychotic wife. My own husband has called me to be so much more. I can do so much better. And, hopefully, I will grow into the wife that he deserves.

*For you men who read my blog, you have roles, as well! You thought you could get away scotch free, didn't you!? Click HERE to read about YOUR duties has hubbies!


  1. upon further reading the husband's duties, i'm not really that impressed. for example.. here is one piece of "advice" that the author gives:

    A. The ground of it. Your are married to her and God commands husbands to love their wives. This alone will last forever, since she may become less attractive in many ways.

    what? excuse me?

    as if men stay wrinkle-free with a head full of hair their entire life. right.

    ... but the wifey part is still great.


  2. I think striving to be the best wife you can is ideal. Of course wives will fall short, but I admire you for striving to be this way too. I hope to be just as good of a wife as you have been.

  3. nah, sometimes (ok, often) i am a total mess. hubby will vouch for that.


  4. Your comment cracks me up!

    I'm all in line with you about being a Proverbs 31 woman, and how it can be really hard. You're not alone, though, just so you know.;]

  5. You're so strong. I love you.