Sunday, May 3, 2009

reality check.

what's it really like being an Air Force wife? why, I'm glad you asked.

every single day I get to tell people where we are moving. I save time by just saying "Virginia Beach," because no one really knows where Langley is. As a matter of fact, they probably don't even know what Langley is. Their eyes light up, and they say, "Ooooh... that sounds nice! Lucky you!" Yes. Lucky me. Sort of.

every single day I have to explain our marriage to someone. I've learned how to sum it up in one sentence: He left two weeks after we were married, and he graduates August 26th, and then we're moving to Virginia Beach. This makes the conversation move along quickly. Which is a great thing.

every single day I find myself explaining my college career. Yes. It is true. I graduate in 2 weeks. I changed my major to Interdisciplinary Studies with an emphasis in Education. I made this life-altering decision 3 weeks ago. No. I cannot teach with this degree. But yes, I am going to get my masters degree in Virginia. That will allow me to teach. Please. No more questions.

every single day I wake up to a text message from my husband at about 5:50am. It's the next best thing to actually waking up next to him. Except, you know, it's a cell phone. And, while it is a super cool touch screen phone, it isn't the same as having him here. Not even close.

every single day I wait for 7pm when I can talk to my husband on Skype. I do enjoy my days - for the most part.. ahem.. but I pine away until nighttime comes. Then it's game on. Nothing is comparable to seeing his face and hearing his voice. Nothing.

every single day I fight the urge to wear Air Force shirts. I mean, I definitely have enough to last me through the entire week. More than enough... but I do believe that people would think I was a tad obsessed if my entire wardrobe consisted of Air Force shirts. By the way, I have another one coming in the mail tomorrow, AND PM bought me another t-shirt with a matching Air Force Wife hat! I cannot wait to wear them! And, you know, blog about it.

every single day I watch other happy married couples, and it makes me want to puke. I know. It is terrible of me to be jealous and hateful. I want to be able to go on a date with my husband. I want to be able to hold his hand and go to the park. I want to be able to cook for my husband and watch our favorite tv shows together.

every single day people look at me with puppy dog eyes when they realize my husband isn't here. I comfor them by saying, "It's okay... really!" But in reality, it is not okay. I need my husband. I want my husband. But your puppy dog eyes don't help the situation. I can't help it either. We just have to get through it. That's all we can do.

every single day I contemplate quitting work. quitting school. and temporarily mentally checking out of life. just temporarily.

I forget that Mark has it worse than me. He has it a zillion times worse. He has no one down there. He is all alone. It is windy. And sometimes cold. And it storms a lot. He misses his friends. He misses his family. He misses his wife. He has to eat at the dining facility every day. He has no car. He hasn't been touched in over a month.

And, as much as this absolutely sucks for me, it sucks worse for him. So feel sorry for him. Give him puppy dog eyes. I'm without my husband, but he is without his wife too.

So, the reality of it is... it sucks for both of us. It absolutely sucks. But I still love the military. I will still proudly sport my AF t-shirts around town and continue to ask every business I see if they offer military discounts. I will wait (un)patiently for him each night for our dates. I willl endure these next four months like a good old Proverbs 31 Woman should. I'm failing constantly. Just ask around. But I'm trying. Really really hard. I'm trying to be the best and most supportive wife possible. Afterall, isn't that my job? to be a helper for my husband. I'm trying.


  1. I love you. You are an amazing wife, and you are SO supportive of your husband. I think you are the epitome of a Proverbs 31 woman. Seriously. You amaze me. You and Mark are such a strong couple. SUCH AN INSPIRATION. (As lame as that sounds) It is so true. You amaze me.

  2. I think you're one of the strongest (and don't forget coolest!) people I know. It is very encouraging to see what you're going through and how you deal. Even if you think you're failing, I promise that you're inspiring so many people. You are amazing! Love you!

  3. failing. falling. drowning. life support.


    but really, most days are like butterflies and rainbows for me! thanks guys!