Monday, March 16, 2009

honestly? here you go:

I'm not sure how some people missed it, but in case you've been living under a rock, my husband left two weeks after we were married. And no, we didn't jump the gun & get married on a whim! We were engaged for 9 months. We are scheduled to be separated for the first seven months of marriage.

Although hopefully I will be allowed to join him during tech school.

So in 9 teensy weensy days, I will be reunited with my soul mate. How about them apples? It will be a once in a life time experience. A memorable experience. Hopefully all wonderful, happy memories. I get four days. Four. After that, we are unsure of the next time we will see each other. Obviously, this trip is extremely important to me. Very, very precious.

I'm very... protective, let's say, of our time together. Since we only have four days, each minute is crucial. Really, I don't want to share him. At all. If you would like to argue this with me and tell me how mean I'm being, I will gladly trade places with you for a day and you can walk in my shoes. Even if you have been there before, most people don't say sayonara to their spouse after 14 days. And if you have, then this is not directed at you. It's very hard - and not in a "I hate my marriage" sort of way. It's a "I just want to be with my husband - I miss him dearly... " sort of way. I just miss him - that's all.

Every single stinkin day I get asked, "Sooo... how's married life?!"

Are you serious?

What do they think my response will be!? "Oh, just dandy!! We never get to talk, but I have bonded closely with my stationary, since I write him daily!" Married life is great, but we are separated. By a thousand miles. And all we can do is read the words from the letters that we write. Simple as that.

Don't get me wrong here - I love my husband and our marriage. But I am sick of talking about it. I'm sick of the questions.. day in and day out. I'm sick of having to prove myself to everyone by convincing them that I am strong enough to endure this and this is the right choice for us. I hope I'm not coming off too mean. I have two Air Force wives whose husbands are in M's flight who will gladly back me up on all of this.

I don't expect you to understand, because you just can't. and I'm not mad about that. We are both living for graduation weekend when we can finally be back in each other's arms. It will truly be the most exciting time of our lives. and I'm sorry that I want to hog my husband during this weekend. We are newlyweds, and we have been separated for far too long.

But we are unseparable.
We are unpenetratable.
We are strong.
We are independent.
and we are dependent.
We are great communicators.
Great appreciators of one another.
Great lovers.
and nothing will stand in our way.
Our heart is one
and a million miles
or a million minutes
or a million days days
or months
can stop us from loving each other
with all of our being.

And now, with great pleasure, I present to you baby H at 6 months old:


  1. I love that you put how you really feel on here. You are NOT mean, and you are NOT unreasonable. I'm sorry that people ask you how married life is. That's dumb. And it's not hogging him. You both know good and well from what he tells you [and the fact that you know him like the back of your hand] that HE WANTS TO BE WITH YOU too! so hah to everyone else. I'm with Queenzie on this one :) [like anyone in their right mind would be]

  2. :D WOOHOO Crusty!!!! I dearly love you...

  3. :( My heart goes out to you tonight Shannon. I cannot, absolutely CANNOT imagine what you have been going through, especially at this point in your marriage. You are a much stronger woman than SO many of us for actually being able to endure this. As my boss tells me on a daily basis (because I work for the stinkin' public) "You just can't fix stupid." People are inconsiderate, people don't think, and some are just plain stupid.

    I hope every moment of your 4 days together is more than you could have ever hoped for, and that no one tries to ruin that for you. It's your right to feel selfish and want him all to yourself! You two are a family now, your OWN family. You deserve to reunite that family without any problems. Feel better!

  4. Omg Paige. You are SO sweet :'[ I could cry!!!

    and you COULD do this... if you had to :] You'd be surprised how strong you are!! You're such a nice friend.. thank you!

    oh, you too, Crusty & Jen! LOL

  5. seriously. i got chills when i read paige's comment.

  6. "You two are a family now, your OWN family. You deserve to reunite that family without any problems. "

    Yes to this!!!

  7. I'm glad you have this support on here.
    You are strong, and I've been really proud of you through all of this! Those four days should be yours. I love you & am excited to be counting down the days with you!

  8. Thanks, Brittney!!! I love you too! :D

    and don't worry, yall! I will take SO many pictures that you will feel like you were ACTUALLY there!! Haha.